The point of no return
by Elle Light
Summary: Once in life any human may wish to turn back the time and fix the errors he'd made. The question is "Were you to go back to time, would you make things differently?" For almost a century, Bai Zihua had tried everything, but he didn't managed to find any way to bring his Little Bone back to life. After decades of researches, all he had was a tiny sheet of paper.
1. Chapter 1

Back home I

For over a century, Bai Zihua had traveled all over the world. He had read any single manuscript he could find, he had listened to every legend, he had asked every tribe and sect he had found in his long journey. From the Egyptian Book of Deaths to the quest for Hades' realm, from the Aztec legends of the great king of Mictlan, the cold god of underworld, to Yama, the Hindu God of death; there was no god he hadn't read about. However, none of them had offered him the answers he had been looking for. Before, he hadn't believed in all those gods. He didn't know if he believed now. Nevertheless, if there was any chance for all those legends to be true then he wanted to take it.

During his long journey, Bai Zihua had met a tribe of witches. All his life he had tried to stay away from any type of enchantment, away from any of the followers of this type of devious art, yet, he was desperate. Were he to lose his soul, he wouldn't have given up his quest.

None of them had the power to bring back the deaths. Yet they knew a way to call her soul from the underworld so he could speak with her. His joy couldn't be compared with anything. He had missed her voice more than anything in the world. So, he waited full of hope and enthusiasm, but there was no answer. Eventually, they invoked a powerful soul of an old witch. As the soul appeared, the witches asked her to find Hua Qiangu and bring her to them.

The week was gone and here was no answer. Another week pasted and the witch still didn't come back. He had started to lose hope when she returned, but she was alone. Hua Qiangu was just a lost soul in the land of shadows. She carried no memories, no feelings, and no connections with the mortal world. Her soul would disintegrate were she to leave the land of shadows.

"What is done can't be undone." The witch spoke. "We can only control the present. If you want to hold her in your arms again, turn the past into present." Her words confused him. Yet he wanted to know how he would achieve something like that. "To go back it's quiet easy; to make the right choice, that's the difficult part." The ancient witch spoke. ,, None could tell you how the events will unfold were you to choose another path. Once you change the past, you change the future as well. Remember that you will meet yourself there and you will have to convince him to take a different decision. You have only ten minutes to change a century. Remember that you can use this spell only once in a millennium. You will need all your cultivation and the power of the moon and the sun to succeed. Think well before you use it." The witch dictated some words to her disciples and then she disappeared. The witches handled him the sheet of paper and explained him how to use it. He needed to go back to the Hall of Emotionless and prepare for the spell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi. May this New Year brings you everything you want. (For me, it would surely be a very intersting year).**

 **How have you welcome the New Year?**

* * *

After so many years he was finally back to the Hall of Emotionless. Nothing had changed, just You Ruo was now a mature woman instead of the girl he had left behind. She carried many years, but here on the Chang Liu a century matters quite little. You Ruo had taken care of everything. None of his flowers had withered during his absence and the chambers were as clean as they used to be when they were inhabited. However, there was another place he had yearned for all those years.

* * *

Even after so many years, she hadn't changed at all. Centuries ago, he'd decided to preserve her body in ice. Back then, he'd imagined that she was only sleeping. But now he knew that there was no way to reverse death. He studied the spell once again. No matter how much he desired to see her again he had to think everything through. A single move could change a century. He had to be sure it would be the right move.

Everything was exactly how Bai Zihua had remembered. He knew every word, every gesture they were to make. All those years he'd endlessly dreamed about those very moments. He was a bit late. His past version had already refused her proposal of leaving with her and he was about to accept her challenge. How clear all those seemed to him now! Why couldn't he see through her words back then?

She was so beautiful as she tried to look dangerous, but was nothing else than a little girl wearing her mother's shoes. However, he'd been too blind then. He'd been so scared of what she'd be able to do that he'd forgotten that nothing of it was actually in her nature. Hua Qiangu had loved the world more than anyone else, even more than had he, and more than any of those so claimed saviors. With her power and her kindness, she could have turned the world into a much better place. Though, he didn't have time for regrets. If he didn't act quickly, Little Bone would be lost forever.

"Do not accept her challenge." Bai Zihua addressed to his past self. Now he had the attention of everybody. Even Little Bone was intrigued by his presence. It was clear that she- as well as everybody there- was confused to see two Bai Zihua-s and one of them to give words of advice to the other. "I've come back from the future. Listen to me. It is a trap. She didn't care about winning the battle, she only wants you to choose and, believe me, you'll make a terrible choice."

"He'd already make clear he wouldn't choose me. I doubt there's something to choose." She answered to him, but he could feel pain in her voice. "You chose the world, didn't you?" He didn't dare to say a thing. She smiled sadly. It was clearly she'd expected it.

"You knew. You knew that I would…." He couldn't continue. he didn't want to say the words.

"For your sect and your world, was there anything you won't do? Right is right, evil is evil. It shouldn't have been difficult, was it?"

"Little Bone." He called her gently.

"Don't call me like that." She threw at him. "You have no right to come here and ruin my plan. I don't want him to choose any differently just because you'll tell him what I am supposed to do. If he refused to take a decision, what am I supposed to do?" Her mask was gone. Little Bone was nothing but a scared girl that needed protection. Once again, he had hurt her. But he had to tell her. Otherwise, he wouldn't be able to change the past."

"Didn't you say that you want me to leave with you? Don't you want him to choose you?"

"He won't." Hua Qiangu cut him harshly. "You hadn't and you never will."

"I was an idiot, but no matter how much I want to change it, this decision doesn't belong to me."

"Who are you? Bai Zihua would never use such devilish tricks only to come back for a woman." Mo Yan threw at him.

"You will soon understand how wrong you all had been. I wish I could spare her the pain of seeing it, but that's the only way." His past version was really confused all this time and he had hardly said a word. He wondered what had really happened, what error his future self was speaking about and why Little Bone was so upset that he'd revealed her plan. Her plan? He wished to know what her plan was. Soon, though, he wished he hadn't.

As his future self disappeared, images of things that had happened started to roll in front of them. He hardly had time to hear his future self, begging him to spare himself of that misery, that Bai Zihua saw himself face to face with Little Bone as he accepted her challenge. He heard her worlds as he saw them in front of Little Bone's house. What was she up to?

They all froze when they saw her killing every single of her former colleges and masters. Mo Yan couldn't help attacking her, but he was prevented by Sheng Xiaomo. "Let's see what's going to happen next." Sheng Xiaomo added as he kept his elder brother back. Eventually, Mo Yan calmed down and they all could hear her words. It was so much pain, so much betrayal and loneliness in her voice. But it ended soon and they were very close to find out that it was all an illusion, all apart the fact that she was dying and he kept being so stubborn that he still refused to acknowledged his love for her even at that time. Her curse was cruel, but so had been his actions for so many years. And she died alone, watching for the last time the birds flying…and her soul flow with them.

Bai Zihua was simply shocked. He could hear Zhu Ran's words, but he was unable to do a thing. The images disappear and now, not even the cruel Mo Yan was able to hold back his tears. He'd been wrong. He wondered if she would ever forgive him. It was quite funny. He'd come here to kill her and now was trying to gain her forgiveness. He watched Hua Qiangu. She was a standing there, still and quiet like a statue. Finally, Bai Zihua dared to face her yet he didn't know what to say. No matter how much he wanted to believe he would have never killed her, he knew that was how he would have acted.

"I'm sorry. I've been so wrong." He muttered to her and for the first time he dared to take her in his arms. Yet, she gave him no answer. She just stood there still, her mind far away.


	3. Chapter 3

She felt lost, but there were hardly tears to be spilt. Cry….it would have definitely made it more easily if she were able to cry. She felt tired, confused. Her eyes were sore and dry. And her head was so heavy, so small to keep still the pressure that boiled inside and it hurt. However, the pain didn't bother her. Her body was too numb to feel pain.

Hua Qiangu watched the people that stood in front of her – her former colleges and masters- but she saw nothing. Her mind was far away. Even after the images had disappeared, she kept staring to the place where they had been once. Little Bone was lonelier than ever before. There was no one left to care for her, to understand her. She was tired….so tired. She just wanted to let go of it; let go of everything: pain, love, life. The sword was still hers. The goddess felt its call. One blow and everything would be gone….but she didn't dare to do it. No matter how fragile was the thread her life hung on, she didn't dare to cut it. She didn't dare to cut it because she still had him. It had to be his choice. She'd already put her life in his hands. But he knew her plan. Yet she wondered how much he trusted her now when he'd found her intentions. She wondered if what he'd seen today was enough for him to believe she wasn't the villain. Though, it was enough for her to understand how little she weight compared to the world he loved.

The world? But she'd never really asked him to abandon it. She just wanted him to trust her. He should have known she would never hurt others. It was his people, his own sect that had done it numerous times and yet he still venerated them. Who had given them the right to decide who was good or evil? Who had given them the right to decide who were to live or to die?

What was left for her, then? Her Shifu hadn't chosen her and yet she was still alive. He wouldn't kill her anymore. But she didn't want to live like that. She was sick of the never ending wars; sick of playing the cold queen of demons; sick of knowing that as long as she would exist every single sect would crave for the power that ran through her veins.

* * *

Bai Zihua was shocked. He was aware that everything he'd saw was real. He'd lived all those emotions as well; he'd had the same thoughts and fears; his heart broke as she was saying the final goodbye. But he simply didn't know what to do. He couldn't abandon everything he'd believed in for centuries. All those rules, ideas, prejudices – they were all wrong, but he didn't know to live any differently.

Until the day he'd met her, his life had been a line, no crossroads, no hills, no curves: just a plain road that kept going and going. But she came and she'd become more important than anything. Yet he'd lied himself day after day. He'd told that he was responsible for her, that she was special just because she was his disciple, but he'd already fallen for her innocence, for her lovely smile, for her power to see goodness even in the darkest places. He would give anything if he were able to go back to the past.

He watched her, the girl who had loved him more than anything. Her love may be an obsession, but without it she would have never been the woman she was now. Everything she'd done was because they'd met and because they'd met they could never separate.

* * *

He was the friend who come when no one wanted her; he was the only person she was left with, and she didn't want to lose him. She was the first girl who had made him doubt his decisions. He'd never felt ashamed of his action before he had to admit he'd left her father die just because being the ruler of a sect was more important than the life of a man. He'd never gone against the sect decision before. He'd never felt human until she came and taught him joy and pain. At first he couldn't understand those feeling, but having her around, hearing her laughter and watching her train brought him comfort. Not having her around, seeing her cry or knowing her in danger made him feel hollow and powerless.

She was his obsession, but Bai Zihua couldn't be better without her. He suddenly realized that this own existence had hardly affected the world. So why would his departure be felt by it?


End file.
